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Bible Rewritten by College Students

 

1. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.

2. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.

3. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.

4. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food.

5. Paul’s letter to the Romans becomes Paul’s e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

7. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

8. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

9. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

10. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

大学生重写的圣经

1. 最后的晚餐是第二天早上的冷饭。

2. 十诫只有五条,排版时用大字体、双倍行距。

3. 每两年出一套新版,以防有人倒卖。

4. 禁果被偷吃的原因是那不是从食堂买的。

5. 保罗给罗马人写的信成了保罗发到abuse@romans.gov的e-mail。

6. 该隐杀掉亚伯的原因:这俩人住一个宿舍。

7. 世界末日的发生地:期末考场,而不是善恶大决战的战场。

8. 删掉所有的骡子,改成山地自行车。

9. 摩西和追随者在沙漠里走了40年的原因:他们不想因为问路显得像一群新生。

10. 上帝并不是花六天创造了世界然后在第七天休息的,祂一直拖到最后一天晚上才动手,熬了个通宵搞定。


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