Learning True Tolerance

I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. If I ever knocked on your door when you were mowing the lawn or taking a nap, please excuse me. I understand: A kid with a Watchtower magazine on your front porch isn't a Girl Scout with cookies, but, hey, you didn't have to sic your dog on me.

I believe how we treat the people we dislike the most and understand the least — Jehovah's Witnesses, for example — says a lot about the freedoms we value in America: religion, speech and personal liberty. And all of these freedoms rely on one thing: tolerance.

I learned this as a kid when I went door-knocking with my mom. We were preaching that Jehovah's kingdom was coming soon to solve the world's problems. I prayed no one from school was behind those doors. Dogs I could run from. It was hard enough being singled out as the kid who didn't celebrate Christmas or didn't say the Pledge of Allegiance. There was little tolerance for my explanation that we only worshipped God, and that God wasn't American. There was no tolerance when I announced my third-grade class that Santa Claus was pagan and a lie.

Still, I didn't have a bad childhood. Our Saturday morning ministry meant sacrificing my Saturday morning cartoons, but our 10 o'clock coffee break was a blessing. That's when we would gather at Dunkin' Donuts, trying not to get powdered sugar on our suits and dresses, while we told stories and laughed. We always knew when you were "home but hiding."

As a teenager, I decided fitting in at school and in life was worth sacrificing some principles. So I never became a Jehovah's Witness. That was the first time I broke my mom's heart. The second time was when I told her I am gay.

Obviously, I don't agree with my mom's belief that same-sex relationships are wrong. But I tolerate her religion because she has a right to her beliefs. And I like it that my mom doesn't politicize her beliefs. She has never voted for a law that discriminates against gay people, or against anyone who isn't a Jehovah's Witness. Her Bible tells her to love, above all.

My belief in tolerance led to a documentary film I made about Jehovah's Witnesses, and my mom actually likes it. The message is about being open to letting people have views we don't like, so in that sense, it could also be about Muslims, gay people or NASCAR race fans. The point is the people we don't understand become less scary when we get to know them as real people. We don't have to be each other's cup of tea, but tolerance lets a variety of kettles peacefully share the stove.

I believe our capacity to tolerate both religious and personal difference is what will ultimately give us true liberty — even if it means putting up with an occasional knock on the door.

真正的宽容——“我相信”系列

　　受家庭的影响，我生来就要被培养成一位耶和华见证人（Jehovah's Witnesses，19世纪末开始在美国兴起的基督教非传统教派，曾多次预言世界末日来临的时间）。如果我曾在你休整草坪或者午睡时敲过你家的门，那么请你原谅我。我完全理解：一个站在你家门廊手拿《守望台》的孩子毕竟不是兜售饼干的女童子军（译者注：《守望台》是耶和华见证人发行的半月刊），但是，我说，你也没必要教唆你的狗扑到我身上。

　　我相信，我们对待那些最不喜欢同时又最不了解的人--比如耶和华见证人--的方式，体现了我们美国人所看重的自由：宗教，言论，和人身自由。所有这些自由都依赖于一样东西：宽容。

　　我在小时候跟着妈妈挨家挨户敲门时就学会了这一点。我们宣讲上帝的国度很快就要降临，解决全世界的问题。我曾祷告我敲开的那些门后不会有我的同学。狗我是可以跑着躲开的。我不庆祝圣诞节，也不宣誓对美国效忠（译者注：耶和华见证人不对国旗或肖像敬礼，不向任何团体和个人宣布效忠），作为这样一个被上帝拣选的孩子是很艰难的。当我解释说我们只敬拜上帝，以及上帝不是美国人时，别人尚且能有些许宽容。而当我告诉三年级同学说圣诞老人是异教传统它并不存在时，就没人能够容忍了。

　　尽管如此，我的童年并不算糟糕。我们每周六早晨的宣教使命意味着牺牲周六早上的卡通片，但10点钟的咖啡时间可以说是上帝的祝福。那个时候我们会聚集在Dunkin' Donuts咖啡店，讲故事，大笑，同时尽力不要让糖粉洒在我们的衣服上。（译者注：耶和华见证人入户传教时穿着十分整洁）。我们很清楚什么时候你在家却装作不在。

　　十几岁的时候，我决心要融入学校和生活，并认为这值得我牺牲一些原则。因此我没能成为一名耶和华见证人。那是有生以来我第一次伤透了妈妈的心。第二次是我告诉她我是个同性恋的时候。

　　显然，我不能认同妈妈那否定同性恋的信仰。但是我对她的信仰表示宽容，因为她有信仰的权力。我也欣赏妈妈不让自己的信仰带有任何政治色彩。她从来不给歧视同性恋的法律，或者歧视非耶和华见证人的法律投票。她的圣经教导她，爱超乎一切。

　　我相信宽容，于是我录了一部关于耶和华见证人的纪录片，我的妈妈很喜欢。它所传递的信息是关于开放心态，接受别人持有我们所不喜欢的观点，所以从这个意义上说，这也可以指穆斯林，同性恋，或者NASCAR车赛迷（译者注：National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing,全美汽车比赛协会）。关键是当我们将那些不了解的人当作一个人去了解之后，他们也就没有当初我们所以为的那么可怕。我们不必非要讨彼此喜欢，但宽容使得各种各样不同的人也能够和谐相处。

　　我相信，我们对宗教和个体差异的宽容的能力最终将给予我们真正的自由--即使那意味着你需要容忍一下偶尔会响起的敲门声。

（点击收听本期This I Belive）