If IT Workers Had a Union

If IT Workers Had a Union
Here are 11 demands that IT workers would probably make.

Retraining
If my job is outsourced or becomes obsolete, pay to retrain me for six months. (Oh yeah, and the union itself should have a fund set up to pay for additional training if I need it.)

Ergonomic chairs
If Detroit can make it easier on the UAW membership's backs, you can do the same for us.

Minimum of four weeks vacation (five with seniority)
Two weeks just isn't enough when you consider how often we work evenings and late into the night so we don't impact operations.

Medical benefits paid by the company
In exchange, we promise not to sue you for every case of eye strain, carpal tunnel syndrome, cranky back and acid reflux.

Benefits protection
If my job gets offshored, the company should keep paying my benefits for a year.

Telecommuting
We already have remote management tools. Let me telecommute at least half the time.

Professional advancement
Help me remain relevant by paying for me to update my skills every two years.

Overtime
If you want me on call 24/7, then you have to pay for that.

Holidays
Keep scheduled maintenance on weekends and holidays to a minimum (because we have lives too).

Retirement
Match my 401(k) contributions 100 percent. Life is uncertain enough without having to stress about retirement.

Flexible meal times
Give me access to free soda and Twinkies, Ho Hos, Ring Dings and Yodels 24 hours a day.

如果IT有工会，我们会提11个要求

1.再培训：如果我的技术过时了，请付费让我重新学习六个月。（工会应该有这样一个专门的基金组织来支付我们的附加培训）；

2.符合人体构造的椅子：这样我们才会坐的舒服，也会减少颈椎、腰间盘等问题；

3.最少四周的假期（资历老的至少五周）：看看我们整日加班熬夜，你就知道每年两周的假期对我们来说根本不够；

4.公司提供医疗补助：作为交换条件，如果我们因为工作得了手腕、背、腰、颈椎等毛病，我们不起诉你们。

5.福利保护：如果我出国工作，公司应当继续支付我一年的福利；

6.远程办公：既然有远程管理工具，那么让我们至少一半时间远程办公以减少我们的舟车之苦。

7.职业提升：每两年支付我一次技能和职业提升培训；

8.加班费：如果仍然想让我早7晚24的工作，请给我钱；

9.关于假期：让周末和假期的日程安排最小化（我们知道对你们来说没有是不可能的）；

10退休：只希望你们可以对得起我在工作时的贡献；

11.免费小吃、饮料：让我们有权利免费吃薯片、甜甜圈、喝苏打水……