If a programming language was a boat…

This one is inspired by a recent forum post, that still leaves me in amazement.

Hi, Im wondering how i can create a boat in turing and if someone can post a example.

This makes no sense, since one doesn’t normally make water vehicles in Turing, the programming language. Though this got me thinking — if a programming language was a boat, what would it be?

Turing

Turing would definitely be a kayak (thank you for comments). It’s small. It’s human powered. It’s often used as a beginner “boat”. And it’s also very Canadian.

Original photo by naokomc

Java

Java is a cargo ship. It’s very bulky. It’s very enterprise~y. Though it can also carry a lot of weight. Will carry a project, but not very fun to drive.

Original photo by cfarivar

Perl

Perl is a tugboat. Powerful enough to tug Java around, in 80 characters or less.

Original photo by xeeliz

Ruby

Ruby is difficult to describe. It’s sleek, sexy, and very fun to drive. Here’s a picture. Very trendy.

Original photo by Tony Falcon

PHP

PHP is a bamboo raft. A series of hacks held together by string. Still keeps afloat though.

Original photo by permanently scatterbrained

C

C is a nuclear submarine. The instructions are probably in a foreign language, but all of the hardware itself is optimized for performance.

Original photo by Ryan C. McGinley

HTML

HTML isn’t really a programming language boat.

Original photo by ascendeddaniel

There’s a lot more to this, and it’s all up for discussion. How would your favourite programming language fare in open waters?